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My folks never paid into any retirement funds and now they're totally screwed and it falls to us kids to bail them out.

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Take them to the vet and have them put down. It's humane and then you won't have any more trouble with them. Party on - my brother!


This is an unfortunate situation for all concerned, but try not to be angry with your parents: you never know the hardships they may have encountered in bringing you and your siblings up. A surprising amount of Americans don't have the cash or inclination to pay into a retirement fund, and depending on your personal financial situation, this does not necessarily spell doom and gloom. A lot of people think of their property as their 'nest egg' and try not to get bogged down in the economics of pensions (which tend to be at the mercy of the financial landscape of the time anyway). Perhaps your parents could move in with you or your siblings when the time comes and you could look after them, as once they looked after you. CBS News has some excellent suggestions for how to cope with retirement without any savings. Take a look: