The Thin Line Between The Spiritual and The Self Destructive

I walk a thin line between the spiritual and the self destructive. I’m not ungrateful. I understand that things may not go the way I want them to I try to maintain an attitude of thankfulness by, at the very least – doing no harm. Yes, I sin but it’s not as willfully as it used to be, and generally hurts no one. There is really no one left close enough to hurt too badly. I can’t decipher if all I ever loved ran away, was driven away, or if it ever happened at all. I sometimes wonder if I’m engaging in catharsis, wallowing in self pity, or simply telling stories as I free flow these words for the world to read. My hope is that one day they might hold some hidden, valuable meaning to someone, and that it will be timely. My ego driven delusion is that the world cares enough to even read them. I have been accused of being an “evangelist” of sorts. I am prone to over-zealousness, and extreme long windedness when honed in on a topic of some particular import to me, ...