dudity!

Meat. Big, thick, heart-fattening slabs of raw meat. You’ll crave for meat after seeing this movie, or, wanting to beat a small animal and eating it raw. This movie is pure karnege! This is the sort of film I imagine I’d love to watch while chewing on a giant drumstick, while holding an old-school goblet with the other hand. The previews before the movie jumpstarted the urge for karnege, what, with natives vs. vikings Pathfinder and scenes of John McClane himself from Die Hard 4. (Okay, so there was a singing frog reminding the viewers to kill off their phones in-between, but, what the hell, I hate frogs, so I imagine trying to slaughter one.) Then, without warning, (and without a TransFormers trailer) it started. The first thing you notice is the visuals: crisp actors on a high-contrast, chroma-filtered, heavily-stylized world. If you haven’t seen the comic-book yet, (or if you didn’t know it was based on a comic) the world presented is obviously the stuff of artistic dreams — which d ...